Baby, Don't Lie
by Baby Darth Dalloway
Summary: It's hard to hold onto hope for the one you love when it's possible they're a murderer, but the ever hopeful Emily can't help but ponder what her heart feels is true. Minor SPOILERS for the season premiere concerning Paily. I actually don't hate Paige in this fic (surprisingly), but it's definitely EMISON. Angsty, and rusty, it's been a while! R&R and I hope you enjoy!


Baby, Don't Lie

* * *

><p>Has it been a while? I can't recall. ;) The first thing I want to say is HI EVERYONE! It's been a long, long, while. I can't even express how happy I am to have some writing inspiration back, along with overall positivity. The last few months have been crazy in my professional life and I ended up leaving my job. Best decision I ever made, and I'm all the happier for it!<p>

I want to say thank you for the reviews, messages, and continued support. I really love this fandom and am happy that the little warped stories in my brain bring anyone some happiness. Thank you for reading! Also, a major, MAJOR, thanks to Mystical Goddess, RJ05, and Kayweston for keeping my spirits up and supporting me through this difficult time. I couldn't have done it without y'all. :)

This next bit has minor spoilers…

Lastly, I got rid of Tumblr because the Paily trolls were hating that I WAS RIGHT about Lindsey Shaw leaving for 5B after the premiere episode. It's exhausting to fight, but what can you do? This fic was actually inspired by Paige and a SPOILER quote I found online that she says in the premiere. It validated everything I had been thinking about Paily for ages and, actually, I am proud of Paige for saying the line. The inspiration turned into this one-shot!

The title is the song by Gwen Stefani of the same name for those wondering. I lastly want to say that it's been a while since I've written anything, so go easy on me. I'm a bit rusty! Though I do hope you enjoy this!

Thanks for reading my long intro. Now, on with the show!

* * *

><p>When I used to look at newborn babies, I noticed how cute they were. The chubby cheeks, the fresh new baby smell, and their tiny little fingers that they are still learning to coordinate. I used to love looking at babies for how cute they were, but now when I look at them, I see something entirely different.<p>

Sitting in the reopened Brew and trying to process my thoughts is nearly impossible. There's a mother with her newborn baby on her arm, casually joking with another young Rosewood mother at her side as they wait for their fat free lattes to be delivered. And that baby… it won't stop staring at me, and as cute as he, or she, may be, I don't focus on cuteness anymore. I focus on the innocence when I look at them.

Now when I see babies, all tiny and vulnerable and fragile, I see the innocence they possess. I see how untainted they are, how they have yet to be molded into whatever human they will grow to be. Sure, they're still amazingly cute and adorable, I haven't grown into a total Grinch, but when I see their innocence, all I have is one question. When will it be taken?

Staring at the baby hard, it smiles at me now. The mother's latte arrives and she jostles junior onto her other arm, and I realize "Brady" is a boy as she and her friend leave the shop. I wonder how long Brady has, how long any of them have, before the world makes them harder. I wonder if they'll even realize when it happens.

I sigh out and let my fingers run through my hair. Paige's words from earlier are still reverberating in my head, and I'm wondering when I lost my air of innocence. When I think back to the girl I was before I met Maya, before we thought Ali died, before A started making our lives live-in nightmares, I can't believe how naïve I was. And yet still, I miss that girl sometimes.

I can't say I'm a negative nancy, because when it comes down to it, I'm a hopeful person. I'm still hoping deep down Alison isn't A, still hoping that all of this will be resolved in a timely and non-deathly manner. I'm a hopeful romantic. I'm the one in the group who keeps things positive, but like Paige was hinting at earlier… I feel like that girl is lost somewhere, and I can't help but linger on what she said.

_5 hours earlier…_

_Walking into the pool, I see Paige sitting off to the side, wading her feet in the water. A smile spreads across my face as I walk in, and I'm reminded of the time we first swam together, as friends, people who did not want to compete and tear each other to pieces. I'm walking slowly, quietly, and my smile starts to turn down as I realize Paige is not happy. The lines on her forehead are too hard and creased, her frown indicating deep concentration as she stares into nothing. Something is going on in that pretty little head of hers, something troubling, and I'm wondering what exactly I'm about to walk into._

"_Hey," I say quietly, my smile a little less bright now but still present, Paige whipping her head around in surprise, practically knocking the damp towel off her shoulders. I wonder how long she's been here. She always swims when she has something to work through in her head or in her heart._

_I close the gap between us and I see an uneasy smile on her face, and she's watching my face the entire time as I take a seat next to her, crossing my legs. I stare out into the pool, enjoying the serenity the calm water brings, and Paige is looking at me. I turn to look into her eyes and we just connect, though I frown. She's looking at me with so much love, and I know she's getting nostalgic and worried with her leaving for California in two days. _

"_What is it?" I whisper softly, my smile still small and dancing. She just shakes her head, very slowly, like she's marveling at something that is but isn't quite me._

"_I heard a song the other day," she begins, and I quirk my eyebrow and smirk, urging her to continue. _

"_Old song," she states, and I nod slowly, wondering where this going._

"_The girl says, 'Your eyes… It's a day's work just to look into them."_

_I take in the words and the coy smile on my face slowly begins to droop as I process what those words really mean, what Paige is really saying. She's looking right into my eyes and now I know what she's really marveling over. Tears begin to fill her eyes, but she smiles and chuckles a little._

"_I love you Emily, I really do," she says, and it's like an epiphany for her, what she's realizing, something deep down I realized long ago when Ali and I made love that one night. We don't fit together, not anymore, and if I'm being completely honest, maybe we never did._

"_You are the first girl I ever loved, and the only one I've ever loved," she says smiling, but the tears are welling up more and I know where this is headed. She starts shaking her head as the tears come pouring out and she looks out at the pool like she's remembering it all._

"_But Emily… the girl I fell in love with all those years ago, and the girl you are now, they aren't the same girl anymore."_

"_No one is the same Paige-"_

"_I know," she interrupts. "I know we all grow and change," and she turns back to me. "Look at who I was and how you forgave me. How different I became?" she replies, and I nod, thinking back to a violent episode that happened in this very pool, the angry and confused girl she used to be turning into the beautiful and loyal woman she is now._

"_I can't thank you enough for helping me grow into the person I am," she continues on, grabbing my hand. Her face crumbles for a split second and I feel tears prickling my own eyes now._

"_You've changed into someone I've tried so hard to understand Emily. And I'm not saying the change is bad or that the change is good. It's just…" she trails off and bites her lip, looking back into my eyes._

"_You're going down a path I can't follow and growing into the woman you really are, and whether either of us like it or not, everything that has happened with A… it's changed you."_

_I pull my hand away at that, shaking my head and staring back off into the pool. I wish I could say I was angry with her, but the truth is I'm angry about how right she is, how we've been denying this for far too long. _

"_You're a beautiful and loving person Emily. But you're so complicated, and I wish, GOD, do I wish that I could figure you out, that I could understand you," she says, me biting my lip now and looking back at her big sad eyes. _

"_But I can't," she says with a shrug of her shoulders and a sad smile. "And I have to stop pretending that I'll ever be able to… or that you'll ever look at me the way you look at her."_

_My mouth opens and she's still smiling, shaking her head._

"_I'm not-"_

"_Don't lie Em," Paige replies. And it further amazes me how much she's grown, from the jealous young woman ready to beat Alison down to the mature and accepting woman who understands the reality of the situation. I really do love Paige. _

_I bite my lip harder before speaking._

"_I love you."_

_And she smiles bigger and nods._

"_I know you do. I know. It's… It's just not quite enough."_

_I nod, feeling my face crumble this time. I take a few breaths and look back at her. For the first time, we're really looking at one another, as two human beings who deeply care for each other, but now we're accepting the truth, that we're not right for one another, at least not now, and maybe not ever._

_I take a few deep breaths, wiping the tears out of my eyes. I look at her, drinking her in one last time. She's a beautiful girl, and I only hope the rest of the world will see her like I do. I lean forward and cup her cheek, my lips planting a chaste kiss on hers. I pull back slowly, my thumb brushing her cheek fondly and I just barely muster a final smile. Our eyes say more than we could ever hope to say in words._

_Pulling back, my legs lift me and I turn away towards the door, leaving Paige behind, not knowing how to react to all of this._

* * *

><p>I hear the doorbell chime in the coffee shop and I'm pulled out of my reverie as a long and lithe body coming to sit across from me.<p>

"Did Paige call you?"

"Hanna. Paige knows better than to call me about anything," Spencer says lightly, a little humor mixed in with her small smile. She's right about that. Paige does know better.

"How much did Hanna tell you?" I ask, still staring out at the sky that has now turned into night.

"Not much. Paige was pretty upset I guess, but she believed it was best for both of you. What about you?"

"What about me?" I reply curiously.

"Do _you_ believe it was the best for both of you?" Spencer asks knowingly, searching my face.

I pause for a moment, turning to look her in the eyes. I nod slowly to myself, my eyes traveling away from hers once my mind was made up.

"Yea… sadly, I do."

Spencer nods, her mouth pressing together into a thin line and I can tell she's thinking deeply. I know where her head is leading her, what she wants to say. I know the last place any of them want me to be is single and vulnerable and emotional. There's never a better time for an ex-lover to strike.

"Is it because of Alison?" she asks quietly, and I can tell she's uncomfortable even going there, not wanting to hurt me when I'm already feeling so much.

"It's not just about Alison, but that doesn't help."

I see Spencer nod out of the corner of my eye, and we fall into a comfortable silence. I can tell she's trying to come to some understanding about it all. Hell, I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything.

"Can I ask you something?" she says eventually. I take a deep breath and finally give her attention rather than the big night sky.

"Sure," I reply with a small smile.

"What is it you see when you look at Ali?"

I'm shocked by the question. Spencer, the ever-logical one, asking about my very biased view of our former friend.

"I know it's weird to ask, but if I've learned anything over the years, it's that logic doesn't always work. So I'm curious… what is it that makes you love her so much?"

I look into Spencer's eyes and can see only sincerity there, support. She's changed just as much as I have over the years.

"You know, it's kind of like me asking you why you love Toby so much," I say with a smile, and she chuckles.

"I know, I know. It's kind of a hard question… I guess it's just hard for me to understand how you feel about her. I believe she's A, Emily. I'm curious as to how you can love someone who…" and she trails off, realizing what she's about to say.

"Who may be a murderer? Monster? Potentially a sociopath?" I reply good-naturedly, and she visibly relaxes. "Believe me… I wish I knew too."

"Was she different with you? Different than she was with the group, with the rest of us?"

I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms as I think her question over and my response is immediate.

"Yes," Spencer's eyebrows go up, and then I smile and chuckle a little bit.

"And no. Alison is Alison… she's stubborn, fierce, mean… even when she's giving you advice that comes from her heart, she can't quite just give it. It's like she viewed kindness as weakness, and so when she was trying to express her care or concern, she had to add a bite to it, just to remind you that she was still in charge. But I don't know… she's changed too, we all have. Ever since that night with her I-"

I trail off and choke on my words, Spencer's eyes widening at the implication.

"You-you guys… since she got back?" she asks.

I take another deep breath and sit up, my elbows on the table as my hands run through my hair for the umpteenth time.

"I haven't told anyone about this… not even Paige," I whisper.

I can feel Spencer's gaze on me, and I'm waiting for her to tell me about the obvious trap I've fallen into. Instead, her dainty fingers slide across the table to my forearm, her thumb rubbing me gently.

"You can talk to me Em… I know I'm not generally the most non-judgmental person," she begins, causing me to snort and her to chuckle. "But I'm listening."

I look into her eyes and smile.

"We slept together… the night of her first day back at school. She told me earlier in the day, after I brought her and Paige together, that those kisses we shared… they weren't just for practice."

"Kisses? I thought there was just the library kiss?"

"No… we kissed at the Kissing Rock once… and then when she pulled me out of the barn, she kissed me then too. She brought that up, asking if I remembered what she said to me that day."

"What did she say, that day I mean?"

"You were always my favorite. No one loved me as much as you did."

"Well… I think it's safe to say you're kind of all of our favorites," Spencer says softly, causing me to smile back at her loving gaze.

"I told her I couldn't remember what was real and what I made up, and I asked her if she really did say I was the one she missed most."

"What did she tell you?"

"She said I was the hardest one to leave behind…"

Spencer nodded, her thumb still rubbing my forearm slowly, taking everything in. I needed to continue with this though, already letting so much of it out.

"After the Mona confrontation at school the next day, I was pissed. She told me she was scared she was going to lose me; that was why she lied. She kept touching me, tried to get me to understand… I was so angry. I _am_ so angry. How can I ever trust a word she says?" I ask to no one in particular.

"You have to take a leap of faith."

My head whips back to Spencer's very un-Spencer-like response.

"Sorry?"

She rolls her eyes and pulls back smirking.

"Look, I'm trying to be more compassionate and less logical right now."

"Okay…"

"The truth is, we don't know if Ali is A or not, and she's pretty adamantly denying it. But the fact she slept with you Emily, that she was begging for forgiveness, such un-Ali things to do… it makes me wonder…"

"Wonder what?"

"Maybe it's possible she is being set up… maybe she's protecting us… maybe she's protecting you."

"Spencer, I-" I began, but paused in my own stunned disbelief, wondering who replaced the woman before me.

"If you're trying to make me distrust Ali like the rest of you, this isn't really helping."

Spencer's eyes drift back to me and she just shakes her head.

"Every time I think I know the answer Emily, I'm wrong. We keep going down all these dead ends and taking these wrong turns, and I have to accept this isn't a test I'm going to get a big fat A in. This is complicated and messy, and even if Ali murdered Mona, maybe she's not even A for all we know."

Spencer pauses, smiling to herself, almost like Paige was a few hours ago.

"I believe Alison is A, but I also know that someone hit our friend in the back of a head with a rock and buried her mother. I know she cares about you and since she came back, was trying to make some changes in her life. I also know Alison can be fiercely deceptive and cruel and enjoyed toying with people and their secrets, but…"

"But?"

"A is smart. If A is Ali, then it's the biggest rouse ever. And if A is not Ali, then that person has used everything possible to set her up and make us doubt her just like the boy who cried wolf. Even if Ali is innocent-"

"No one will hear her cries," I finish for Spencer, taking everything in.

"Why are you suddenly doubting yourself and asking me about how I feel? You of all people should realize my heart is the one most likely to cloud anyone's judgment on Ali, including my own."

"Because maybe your heart is the only one seeing her for who she was and is," she replies easily.

"If Ali is isn't capable of murder or of doing these things to such a cruel extreme, if you're right about her, then there is someone out there setting our friend up and taking us out in the process."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying Alison is smart enough to get herself out of anything, but there are people like Mona who are smarter than any of us who have just as much hate for Ali. I'm trying to take in all the factors now. I can't have too much tunnel vision Emily, not like before. The stakes are too high this time around…" she says, drifting off.

I process everything Spencer is saying, and it's hard to hear the words I've been longing to hear for so long from someone other than myself. But I also know I can't let the words blind me, and almost as if Spencer senses this, she speaks up.

"You still can't trust her Emily. Even if she's not A and she's being set up, she's far from innocent. She _is_ hiding something."

I nod. "I think she's hiding something too, even though I don't think she's A… something is off with her."

"We'll figure it all out, we always do…"

"Not before someone ends up dead," I reply and Spencer gets quiet, me speaking the words I know she wanted to add on to that sentence.

"I've been here for hours, let's get out of here," I say while standing, noticing the few patrons left. Spencer stands with me and we head to the door and out into the brisk air of an ending winter.

* * *

><p>It's nearly 11am when I wake up, having decided to take the day off and not face anyone at school. Even if Paige is right about our entire relationship, it still hurts and I'm in no mood to deal with people today. Heading downstairs, I wish my mom was home and that I was walking into a fresh smelling breakfast. I go to the cupboard and grab a bowl and cereal, checking my phone as I grab the milk from the fridge.<p>

I mass text the girls and let them know I'm okay, just needing a day to process everything. I do want to say goodbye to Paige tomorrow and know I'll need at least this day of space to make sure I don't completely break down in front of her. It's terrifying really, when I think about everything that has happened, how Paige looked at me last night, as if she gets so lost trying to figure me out… I question sometimes too, who I've become after all of this.

That's what happens in situations like this though. Whoever invented that saying, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," sure as hell wasn't kidding. It's been deeply painful, each of us losing so much at different points. We have gotten stronger, but at what cost? Is becoming stronger worth the pieces we lose along the way? I don't know.

All of a sudden I hear the doorbell ring, and I roll my eyes. Hanna can never stop worrying over me and my "lesbian love life," as she so eloquently phrased it.

"The door's open!" I yell as loud as I can, and I hear the door open and close, Hanna's heels clacking on the floor as she makes her way towards my kitchen.

I look at my pjs, my big blue over the shoulder sweatshirt and boy shorts, no bra underneath and my hair a curled mess from an unsettled sleep. I wipe under my eyes quickly, making sure to erase any smudged make up, knowing Hanna's going to yell at me to pull myself together. I hear Hanna pause at the kitchen entrance, my back to her while I'm munching on my cereal.

"You know Han, when I said I needed a day alone, I really meant it. You didn't need to come check up on me."

"Good thing I'm not Hanna."

My spoon freezes right before my mouth as my eyes go wide. Alison. I take a deep breath and put my spoon back in the bowl, swallowing the bite I had. I don't even turn around.

"What are you doing here?"

I hear her breathe out a soft laugh at my tone, and hear her place her purse on the counter, walking towards me until she comes into view. Of course she walks in here looking gorgeous, her long blonde hair straightened today, a bright pink blazer with a white oxford shirt and navy blue skirt to match. She catches me looking her up and down, smirking at me while she places her hand on her hip. I roll my eyes in response.

"Believe it or not I came to check on you."

"And why would you be doing that?" I ask, pushing my cereal bowl away and looking up at her, our first conversation in months.

This is the closest she's been to me in the same amount of time, only two short steps away, and I watch as she let's her fingers trail over the kitchen table running her hand back and forth over the glass as she looks at me.

Her face is confident, her smile just enough but not too much of a smirk, like she's trying to decide how cocky she should be right now. But her eyes… her blue eyes are just like the ocean, and not just because of the color. The depths of them always seem to be stirring.

She finally looks away and purses her lips, moving from the table and going to the window, folding her arms as she looks outside.

"So you and Paige called it off…" she begins, seemingly talking mostly to herself, and my blood boils as she brings this up.

"I can't say it surprises me. I heard about her early departure for California," she continues, flipping her hair over her shoulder to look back at me. "Tomorrow, right?"

I shake my head at her and look away, trying not to let my anger out.

"You have no right…"

"I can't help what I hear through the gossip mill,"

"Oh please Alison, you probably started the gossip mill on the subject. And we both know you hate Paige, so cut the crap."

Her jaw clenches as she glares at me and I'm sure she's getting nostalgic for a past Emily, one who would have never dared to talk back to her. I glare back just as intensely.

"So. _Why_ are you here?"

She's looking at me still, searching my eyes… she searches them completely differently than Paige. Paige always looked lost, like she was trying to see something she couldn't. But Alison? Alison could look into your eyes and see your soul, discover your truth, and right now I can tell it's not any different.

"Why did you call it off?"

I scoff and roll my eyes again, this time standing up and grabbing my cereal bowl, my loss of appetite leading me to clean it out. I hear her turn and approach the counter between us, me at the sink rinsing the bowl out.

"Let me guess? You thought now that I'm single and heartbroken, I would go running into your arms for comfort? All you had to do was come and check up on me and pretend you care-"

"I _do_ care," she snarls, and I finish with the bowl, washing my hands and taking some water to my face to wake me up fully.

I grab the towel and wipe my hands and face, chuckling at Ali's comment, turning to face her.

"Oh right, of course you care. How silly of me to doubt that."

I shake my head again and put the towel back and I can see she's trying to hold back some serious rage, control a new concept for her.

"Don't stand there and pretend like you aren't thrilled that Paige and I broke up Ali. You're probably ecstatic that she's leaving-"

"I am," she replies challengingly, and my words catch in my throat at her unexpected retort.

"Remember what I told you about mushy squash Emily? Of course I'm glad she's gone. I won't pretend otherwise."

"Right. It has nothing to do with the fact that you hated her guts for fighting with you?"

"Yes Emily!" she replies, uncurling her arms and spreading each hand over the counter, her arms supporting her torso as she looks at me smug.

"I hated the bitch, and I _am_ thrilled she's going. We weren't fighting just because she was a brute. We were fighting over you."

I can't breathe. I try to retort, and I choke on more words. I shake my head and muster out a laugh of disbelief.

"You're lying."

"Why would I lie about this?"

"Because you want me to come crawling back to you and fall under your spell. You know if you get me, then that's one step closer to winning everyone else back-"

And she begins laughing out loud at that, throwing her head back and laughing large.

"Oh god, you really think I care what the others think anymore? Aria? Spencer? Hanna?"

I'm more confused than ever by her response and she shakes her head at me slowly as she moseys around the counter.

"I don't care what any of those bitches think Em. I don't care if Hanna's bitter about being Hefty Hanna or if Aria is upset about her father and Ezra. And Spencer? Spencer is in way over her head, her big brain always getting her into trouble."

"What are you saying Ali?" I whisper quietly, her on the same side of the counter now, leaning against it, arms crossed once again. Her face grows serious.

"I did toy with all of you. I was young and angry and powerful, Emily. I had the world at my fingertips and my mother taught me everything I needed to know about getting what you want and how to ensure no one gets in your way. I was young and foolish for thinking my actions would never have repercussions."

I stay silent, my face displaying my shock, and I can't believe Ali is speaking to me like this right now. I can't believe anything that's happening.

"I can't say I never cared about the girls, because I did. And they proved their loyalty, well mostly, until I got home…"

"So because we think you're A, you want revenge?"

"No, Emily. What I want is for A to get buried, and for your friends to leave me the hell alone and stop assuming the wrong thing."

"All fingers point to you, Ali."

"And don't you find that at all suspicious? Hm?" she asks, her eyebrow pointed. I shake my head at her.

"I'm not doing this with you," I say in a smaller voice than I wanted, and she smirks.

"Why? Because you can't handle the guilt that you might be wrong about this?"

"Because I can't handle anymore of your lies!" I shout at her, the anger and pain I wanted to keep from her on full display, and I hate myself for letting her see it, letting her see how much I _still_ care.

She swallows and steps closer to me, and I shake my head moving away but she grabs my forearm and stays where she is, not wanting me to move any further.

"Tell me you really believe I'm A. Tell me you know 100% deep down in your heart that I am the person who's been terrorizing all of you. I want to hear you say it."

This moment brings me back to Maya, when she challenged me at the dance to tell her I had no feelings for her. Just like in that moment, I can't say a lie. I refuse to turn and look at Alison and her grip on my arm loosens.

"When I came back here, to Rosewood, I came back for you," she whispers softly, and the tears I had been holding back start to come out, but I refuse to turn and look at her.

"I came back because I thought A was gone. I thought I really had a second chance. And I… I slept with you that night because I thought we would have the time and space to start over."

My head whips around to look at her, searching her eyes for a truth I want so badly but never know if I will get. She looks at me in a way I've never seen before, truly fatigued. Alison never liked showing how she was really feeling, and I'm a little bit in awe to see this slight vulnerability. She's tired. We all are.

"I wasn't lying about how I felt about you, Emily. You were the hardest one for me to leave behind, and I didn't realize it until it was too late."

"So what… you fell in love with me and don't care about our friends?"

"I never thought I would fall in love with you, or a girl for that matter," she says firmly, and it's almost like she's angry with herself for not anticipating that love was a possibility for her, that losing control of her heart was ever an option.

She tears her hand away from me like I'm on fire, the reality of her admission hitting her. She looks up at me.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," and she turns to walk towards the end of the counter to grab her purse and leave. I react before I can think about anything.

She's in the dining room when I reach her, spinning her around by the arm and slamming her into the wall. I can tell she's shocked and ready to fight, but my lips slam into her and push her further into the wall, my body melding into hers perfectly.

She gasps, but catches on quickly, dropping her purse and letting her arms wrap around my shoulders to pull my head in closer. She's about my height with heels on. My hands drift down her sides, grazing her legs, and I hear her moan as our kiss deepens. This is wrong in so many ways, but Paige wasn't wrong… I do look at Ali. I always have.

I feel her fingers threading through my hair, trying to take lead, but I roll my hips into her making her grunt and letting her know exactly who is dominating right now. My hands begin to drift up the outside of her thighs, ever so slowly.

"Em," she gasps out in between kisses and I want all of her. I hate to admit it, but I've never stopped loving Alison and hoping that this was all a lie. I've never stopped wishing that everything could somehow work out between us, and it's as if all of these emotions and this desperation is pouring out into this one kiss.

And then the doorbell rings.

I pull back slightly startled but don't get too far, her arms locking my head into a position right in front of her, her eyes searching mine as we recognize the interruption.

"Come on Emily, I know you're home! Don't you dare try and ignore me!"

Hanna bellows from outside. I don't know if I should be thanking her or killing her for interrupting, and as I look at Ali's eyes, I know she's thinking about the latter option.

"J-Just a second Hanna!" I call out, my eyes frantic and I'm scrambling in my head about what to do, until Ali's hands cup my cheeks and she guides me back to her lips, softly kissing me.

It's chaste and brief, but when our eyes flutter open I see her looking at me seriously.

"Promise me you'll keep hoping for me… for us," she says.

"Do you know how hard it is to hope for you?"

It's blunt, maybe even hurtful, but Ali knows it's true and her soft smile shows she acknowledges that.

"I know. Just wait a little bit longer," she replies and releases of my face, picking up her purse. She quickly shuffles through it and hands me a piece of old stationary, her handwriting on it.

"This was what I really wanted to say, right now at least," and she cuts off as Hanna opens the door.

Ali's head whips around and she puts her fingers to her mouth, sliding her heels off so she can tip toe. I nod and we exchange one parting look, her leaving the paper in my hand as I call out to Hanna to say I'm coming.

I watch Alison tip toe briskly towards the kitchen to exit out the back, me walking around the corner to see Hanna tapping her foot impatiently at me.

"H-Hey, Han, sorry… I was just…" and I drift off as she looks at me weirdly, her eyes flying to the piece of paper in my hand. She looks at me curiously, snatching the paper.

"What's this?" she asks, and before I can jump at her, she begins reading the words aloud;

"_Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride, that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you believe it is a beautiful place to be."_

The words ring in my head and sink in. Alison never stops, does she?

"By Kurt Vonnegut," she says, looking at both side of the small paper. "Is that that guy we read in English last semester?" Hanna wonders to herself.

"Uh, n-no, actually. The semester before."

"Oh… who gave you this? Paige?" she asks, with a sad smile.

"Yea," I lie easily, not wanting to bring this subject up, especially not to Hanna, the one friend who may be more protective of me than Spencer.

I reach out and she hands it back to me.

"I'm sorry I'm bugging you, I just wanted to make sure you're okay, you know?"

I nod, my mind on autopilot.

"I do. Why don't you stay actually?" I reply, and Hanna smiles and nods.

"I just need to run and shower, but would you mind making some tea?"

"Not at all," she says with a smile and gives me a small hug before waltzing off towards the kitchen.

I head to the stairs and climb up slowly, going to my room and slipping the piece of paper into a drawer for now. I grab a change of clothes and make my way to the bathroom to start a shower, feeling the need to wash away everything I'm feeling.

I don't know what Ali is hiding, but I do know she is right. I can't say I believe she's A, not truly, not deep down. I can only hope that whatever secrets she still has hiding are for the purpose of taking A down, of ending this once and for all. I pause, letting the water stream over my face and body.

It's hard holding onto hope for Alison, but even when I don't want to I can't help but do so. It won't be hard keeping your promise Ali, I'll always be holding onto hope for us. I'll always hope for the best for you.

FIN.


End file.
